Pretty sure 2012 has it in for me.
And I mean, like REALLY has it in for me.
Which is strange, seeing as how 2011 ended ridiculously and I was a bucket of anxiety juice just waiting to overflow onto everyone and everything, and then New Year's happened, which was glorious, but then I came home, and it didn't really even feel like I had just spent five amazing days riding roller coasters and drinking copious amount of butterbeer, but I decided it was just leftover drops of anxious from that whole bucket situation, and I started January working toward MFA auditions and finding more enjoyment in my day job and eating better and exercising more and generally just working on being happy after a full year of disappointments and failures and scattered joys and an awful lot of hard work that felt a little underappreciated by the universe, but OH THEN HERE COMES 2012, ALL ARROGANT AND MEAN WITH ITS BIG BRITCHES AND HIGH HORSE, READY TO RUIN ALL MY FUN AND DETERMINED TO SEND ME HOME CRYIN' TO MY MAMA.
So not only has my bucket o' anxiety from 2011 turned into a commercial freight car full of fermented stress-on-the-rocks, I have had the worst luck with everything I have touched, mainly car-wise. A few weeks ago, I got pulled over and was given a ticket because the tinting on my car windows is too dark. Which was news to me, as they were exactly the way they were when I purchased the windows, meaning when I bought the car, because the windows and the car came to me as is, and I never thought twice about it. But apparently, after more than three years of driving around in good 'ole Monty, past plenty of police officers who turned blind eyes to my darkened-window predicament, this cop-lady had to go and make me cry because my tint was in the illegal zone of tint-land, and all of a sudden, I was going to have to pay the fine from the ticket AND pay to have the tinting removed and/or changed. Since this weary day several weeks ago, Monty has had his tinting removed, which cost waaaaaay more than I thought it would, and he looks way less hip to the times than he used to, and also the sunlight streaming in is much brighter than it used to be and hurts my eyeballs, and also you can totally see what's in my backseat if you wanted to look in from the outside, which creeps me out in a place like Atlanta where cars are stolen and broken into often enough it should be an Olympic sport.
That of course pales in comparison to the events of this past Thursday, where I was in my first-ever-real-terrifying car accident. Now don't freak out, I'm okay, just a sore neck and an awful lot of fermented-stress-on-the-rocks from how scary and terrible the whole thing was. I won't extrapolate too much about this incident here, as this whole insurance thing is freaking me out and I'm just sick to my stomach over the situation in general, but basically Monty and a guy on a motorcycle (I know, I'm really upset about it) collided in the road, and he did that thing where he laid the bike down and jumped off of it before it hit my car, so he was mostly banged up from hitting the ground, and the bike hit my drivers' side door hard enough it looks like Monty got karate-chopped and now the bottom part of the frame is sticking out and my door doesn't shut because it's bowed out away from the body of the car and I of course was better protected than he was, so I'm not really hurt or anything, mostly just really upset that the whole thing even happened. Last Thursday serves as the second time ever I have had to call 911 and it is not an experience I want to repeat anymore beyond this, thankyouverymuchifyousopleasehelpmeGod. So yeah. If you follow me on twitter, you guys got this scoop after it happened, and if you sent me awesome messages of love and reassurance, then I thank you oh so much for your kind thoughts and prayers and words of healing. Right now, I'm just beyond anxiety-ridden for the motorcyclist (he will be okay, but I never want to be part of the reason someone has to go to a hospital, ya know?) and for the damages to my car, which apparently will cost more to fix than what Monty is even worth, so you best buhleeve I am going to McGyver the crap out of Monty until I can save up to just have him replaced. He has been a most loyal and valiant steed, but his long life here on earth as my winged chariot is coming to an end. Here's to you, old friend. Thank you for being enough of a tank to keep that motorcycle from taking off my face. I shall forever be in your debt.
I've promised you guys several posts in the last couple of months. Apparently I'm not as good as doing multi-part-series-things as I thought I would be. That, or the freight car of fermented-giant-squids-of-anger that lives in my chest just hate to see successful follow-through. In the lighter news section of today, I have more auditions for grad school next week, as I will be in Chattanooga for SETC, so there will probably be pictures to come of that whole experience. Expect to see lots of pretty architecture and lots of crazy actors making faces as we try to pretend we're not nervous that our future educations hang so delicately in the balance. At some point, I will regale you with the final chapters of the Glorious Adventure and Chicago, so cut me a little slack and bear with me. I did just experience a karate-chop to my almost-face, you know.
In conclusion, I shall leave you with this: the universe wants me to be unhappy and poor, and 2012 wants me to use other modes of transportation to get around.
Reasons why I'm officially taking donations. Cue long dramatic sigh.
charcoal renderings.
The rough-edged and soot-lined journey of a starving artist livin' the dream.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Reasons Why I'm Officially Taking Donations
Labels:
[headdesk],
Auditions,
Epic Fail,
Graduate School,
I Hate Everything,
Reasons Why,
Shit Just Got Real,
Strange Occurences,
Stressful Things Are Stressful,
Stupidity,
Terrifying Terror Is Terrifying
| Reactions: |
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Go Get 'Em, Tiger
I only owe you guys about a kajillion updates.
But they are coming. Yes, this time, I promise, that WITHIN THE WEEK, I will make good on my drawn-out assurances that the Glorious Adventure saga will come to completion, and I will fill you in the rest of my most recent sojourn to the Windy Midwest. I will tell you this much, though--Chicago deep-dish pizza? Legit.
I would like to point out that this is the first fourteenth of February since my freshman year of college (back in 2007, WEIRD) that I have had a Somebody To Love to celebrate it with. You know, other than my roommate or my cat. And it's nice. Not that I've been sorely lacking in anything since 2007 or anything--Valentine's Day is nice if you really like candy and grocery store floral arrangements, but it's not the the be-all-end-all of holidays. My self-esteem hasn't been tarnished by my lack of yearly suitors and stale candy hearts; but it is nice that this year, today, I will get to put on shoes other than the paint-covered sneakers I wear to work and will actually get to go to a restaurant where someone else will be aiding and abetting my intake of alcohol while I scarf down mozzarella sticks like they're going out of style.
So on this fourteenth day of the most awkwardly-short month of the year, I make this decree: If you like V-Day and enjoy celebrating it, you go right ahead! Buy those flowers, procure those mystery chocolates, and scramble to get that reservation for dinner! Or, order that Chinese take-out or that pizza, find that copy of that movie you both like, and make sure a candle or two is lit just to set the mood! Whatever it is you like to do to celebrate the one you love, go for it! Whether it involves high heels, fancy lingerie, or over-sized flannel PJ's, you go to town, friend! You are a champion! You can fall asleep at 8 o'clock in your footie pajamas while the History Channel buzzes in the background if you want to! Go get 'em, tiger!
I've seen an awful lot of "woe is me I'm single I hate all of you WAAHHHH" statuses on the Facebook and the Twitter today. As well as several ads encouraging me to make that "last-minute effort to show her she's special!" in addition to the embittered articles detailing "why I hate Valentine's day and everyone who cares about it is a moron who doesn't understand the hold that America's sadistic capitalism has upon them." And on this fourteenth day of the most awkwardly-short month of the year, I also make this decree:
Guys. It's just a date. It's just a Tuesday. Please, feel free to celebrate or not celebrate today however you like. You have the freedom to ignore today's existence on the calendar or to shout from the rooftops how awesome today is if you like. Whatever floats your boat, man. Because I'll let you in on a little secret...
It's just not that big of a deal.
Surprised? You shouldn't be. If you care about someone, and not just a lady- or man-friend either, then tell them. Don't wait for the one day of the year you can buy Peeps in the shape of hearts and cupids. Tell that person, or those people, every single day that you care. If you are single, love on your friends and family. If you are not single, love on your friends and family. If you are a husband or wife, you should be loving on your spouse like this already. Show some love to a stranger. Go spend your last five bucks on a meal for that homeless man down the street rather than spending it on your third venti-green-tea-non-fat-soy-latte of the day. Write encouraging notes on post-its and then stick them inside random book covers in a book store. Go for a drive and roll the windows down, even if it's freezing, and just breathe for a little while. Then let that person stuck at that turn up there go in front of you.
People can be pretty selfish. But often not about the things that are good to be selfish about. In addition to taking care of those around you by showing them that you care, what about yourself? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said, "Hey good lookin', you are a SUCCESS who is worthy of great things and great love and you are going to go far in this world!" When was the last time you didn't beat yourself up when you got dressed and, yet again, made a resolve to lose that fifteen pounds? When was the last time you read a book just for fun? Outside? On a bench or a blanket in the shade of a tree? When was the last time you let yourself sleep in and didn't feel guilty about it? When was the last time you took a bubble bath and made a Santa Claus beard with the suds on your chin?
And when was the last time you were truly happy with who you are?
Instead of today being about consumerism or shades of red and pink, let it be about taking a moment to stop and think. Use that moment to reflect on the people in your life you haven't celebrated recently. Then go celebrate them. And do it again tomorrow. And next week. And next month. Then reflect on how you have or haven't celebrated yourself lately. It's not about being the bad kind of selfish--it's about showing your own body, your own heart and mind, that you are happy to be alive.

I love you guys. I love reading the stories of your lives and making those human connections with you where we realize that we are all so similar, even if we're states or countries apart. I thank you for your readership. I look forward to more amazing stories and journeys with you. Now get outta here, you wonderful person you, and have yourself an awesome Tuesday. Much love, homies.
But they are coming. Yes, this time, I promise, that WITHIN THE WEEK, I will make good on my drawn-out assurances that the Glorious Adventure saga will come to completion, and I will fill you in the rest of my most recent sojourn to the Windy Midwest. I will tell you this much, though--Chicago deep-dish pizza? Legit.
I would like to point out that this is the first fourteenth of February since my freshman year of college (back in 2007, WEIRD) that I have had a Somebody To Love to celebrate it with. You know, other than my roommate or my cat. And it's nice. Not that I've been sorely lacking in anything since 2007 or anything--Valentine's Day is nice if you really like candy and grocery store floral arrangements, but it's not the the be-all-end-all of holidays. My self-esteem hasn't been tarnished by my lack of yearly suitors and stale candy hearts; but it is nice that this year, today, I will get to put on shoes other than the paint-covered sneakers I wear to work and will actually get to go to a restaurant where someone else will be aiding and abetting my intake of alcohol while I scarf down mozzarella sticks like they're going out of style. So on this fourteenth day of the most awkwardly-short month of the year, I make this decree: If you like V-Day and enjoy celebrating it, you go right ahead! Buy those flowers, procure those mystery chocolates, and scramble to get that reservation for dinner! Or, order that Chinese take-out or that pizza, find that copy of that movie you both like, and make sure a candle or two is lit just to set the mood! Whatever it is you like to do to celebrate the one you love, go for it! Whether it involves high heels, fancy lingerie, or over-sized flannel PJ's, you go to town, friend! You are a champion! You can fall asleep at 8 o'clock in your footie pajamas while the History Channel buzzes in the background if you want to! Go get 'em, tiger!
I've seen an awful lot of "woe is me I'm single I hate all of you WAAHHHH" statuses on the Facebook and the Twitter today. As well as several ads encouraging me to make that "last-minute effort to show her she's special!" in addition to the embittered articles detailing "why I hate Valentine's day and everyone who cares about it is a moron who doesn't understand the hold that America's sadistic capitalism has upon them." And on this fourteenth day of the most awkwardly-short month of the year, I also make this decree:Guys. It's just a date. It's just a Tuesday. Please, feel free to celebrate or not celebrate today however you like. You have the freedom to ignore today's existence on the calendar or to shout from the rooftops how awesome today is if you like. Whatever floats your boat, man. Because I'll let you in on a little secret...
It's just not that big of a deal.
Surprised? You shouldn't be. If you care about someone, and not just a lady- or man-friend either, then tell them. Don't wait for the one day of the year you can buy Peeps in the shape of hearts and cupids. Tell that person, or those people, every single day that you care. If you are single, love on your friends and family. If you are not single, love on your friends and family. If you are a husband or wife, you should be loving on your spouse like this already. Show some love to a stranger. Go spend your last five bucks on a meal for that homeless man down the street rather than spending it on your third venti-green-tea-non-fat-soy-latte of the day. Write encouraging notes on post-its and then stick them inside random book covers in a book store. Go for a drive and roll the windows down, even if it's freezing, and just breathe for a little while. Then let that person stuck at that turn up there go in front of you.
People can be pretty selfish. But often not about the things that are good to be selfish about. In addition to taking care of those around you by showing them that you care, what about yourself? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said, "Hey good lookin', you are a SUCCESS who is worthy of great things and great love and you are going to go far in this world!" When was the last time you didn't beat yourself up when you got dressed and, yet again, made a resolve to lose that fifteen pounds? When was the last time you read a book just for fun? Outside? On a bench or a blanket in the shade of a tree? When was the last time you let yourself sleep in and didn't feel guilty about it? When was the last time you took a bubble bath and made a Santa Claus beard with the suds on your chin?
And when was the last time you were truly happy with who you are?
Instead of today being about consumerism or shades of red and pink, let it be about taking a moment to stop and think. Use that moment to reflect on the people in your life you haven't celebrated recently. Then go celebrate them. And do it again tomorrow. And next week. And next month. Then reflect on how you have or haven't celebrated yourself lately. It's not about being the bad kind of selfish--it's about showing your own body, your own heart and mind, that you are happy to be alive.

I love you guys. I love reading the stories of your lives and making those human connections with you where we realize that we are all so similar, even if we're states or countries apart. I thank you for your readership. I look forward to more amazing stories and journeys with you. Now get outta here, you wonderful person you, and have yourself an awesome Tuesday. Much love, homies.
Labels:
Boyfriends,
Family,
Friends,
Observations,
Words of Wisdom
| Reactions: |
Monday, February 6, 2012
Windy City? So THAT'S Why Her Skirt Flew Up...
So I'm in Chicago this week.
I know I have several things to update you guys on, including finishing the telling of the Glorious Adventure, and I promise I will get to that in the next week-ish or two, so don't lose faith just yet. My life as of late has just been hijacked by several things that have kept me from blogging for the time being, one of those things being the reason I flew to Chicago today, another of those things being more of what is described in this post. I have, unfortunately, been experiencing a disproportionate amount of anxiety since the new year, and it has taken quite a hold on me; it's gotten so bad to the point that trying to order food at a fast-food restaurant sent me hyperventilating. Luckily, The Man was present to come to my rescue and order for me, while I rocked back and forth, hands over my ears, eyes shut tight, trying to drown out the feeling that the entire universe had just imploded inside my chest.
I don't know what it's here or where it came from, but hopefully the cause of such unwelcome occurences shall make itself known to me in the immediate future.
But today, I am in Chicago. I am here for my Big Fancy Auditions for grad school, so the next three days will be full of pencil skirts, smiling and hand-shaking, nail-biting, and being paraded across several stages with several hundred of the nation's best performers. I'll keep you updated on my success(es).
I know I have several things to update you guys on, including finishing the telling of the Glorious Adventure, and I promise I will get to that in the next week-ish or two, so don't lose faith just yet. My life as of late has just been hijacked by several things that have kept me from blogging for the time being, one of those things being the reason I flew to Chicago today, another of those things being more of what is described in this post. I have, unfortunately, been experiencing a disproportionate amount of anxiety since the new year, and it has taken quite a hold on me; it's gotten so bad to the point that trying to order food at a fast-food restaurant sent me hyperventilating. Luckily, The Man was present to come to my rescue and order for me, while I rocked back and forth, hands over my ears, eyes shut tight, trying to drown out the feeling that the entire universe had just imploded inside my chest.
I don't know what it's here or where it came from, but hopefully the cause of such unwelcome occurences shall make itself known to me in the immediate future.
But today, I am in Chicago. I am here for my Big Fancy Auditions for grad school, so the next three days will be full of pencil skirts, smiling and hand-shaking, nail-biting, and being paraded across several stages with several hundred of the nation's best performers. I'll keep you updated on my success(es).
Labels:
Auditions,
Being A Real Actor,
Body Failure,
Graduate School,
Happy Actor Is Happy,
I Like To Think I Am A Fancy Photographer,
Shit Just Got Real,
Terrifying Terror Is Terrifying,
Theatre,
Travel
| Reactions: |
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Glorious Adventure: Part The Second
As of this post, I now have over 50 followers! That feels like such a milestone to me, compared to when I started this whole blogging thing with no hope that anyone other than myself would actually read it. So thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who subscribe and comment and share a little piece of your lives with me. This community is something I am very thankful for and I appreciate your presence in it.
It's time, ladies and gents. Prepare yourselves.
Friday -- December 30th. We have lift off.
The Man and I began our glorious adventure to Universal Studios in Orlando bright and early.
We had a pretty nice drive. Mostly me screaming, "WHOOOOOO!!!!!!! HARRY POTTER WORRRRRRLLLLDD!!!" every five minutes and The Man responding with a resigned, "Yes, baby."
So after we played The License Plate Game and paid very seemingly unnecessary tolls to get into the city of Orlando, the excitement and knowledge that we were basking in seventy-degree weather for the end of December finally settled in.
We got to our hotel around four-ish in the afternoon and took some time to chill and shower and semi-nap. Sitting in a car all day, being excited, and going over Potter trivia can be exhausting.
Friday night we decided to hit the town! Orlando was hoppin', people everywhere, neon lights a-blaring, and even boardwalk-esque attractions were on every street corner. We had a full three days of theme park amazingness ahead of us, so we wanted to treat ourselves to a nice dinner in a restaurant where they served fancy delectables like mozzarella sticks and mango margaritas to get us started with a bang.
And guess who we happened to dine with there!? None other than the fabulous Alice, who just so happened to be in town on super-secret-international-spy business. This is the first blogger I have had the pleasure of meeting in person, and she's not even creepy at all! Mainly just fantastic and full of super-secret-international-spy knowledge. Yeah, that's right Greenland, I know all your dirty little secrets now.
We had a lovely and luxuriously languorous time eating and drinking and laughing. All too soon, The Man and I were feeling completely exhausted after being up for so long from the day of travel, so we bid adieu to the nicest super-secret-international-spy you'll ever know, and headed out to hit the hay.
While driving around the bustling city, I was struck by how strong the presence and meaning of where we were was. Exactly a year ago I had been in that same town, feeling the same exhaustion and excitement, surrounded by friends that I loved, looking forward to the same journey through Universal's theme parks while we rang in the new year.
We were here. We had done it. All year long, I had been musing on how amazing it was to spend new year's, my personal anniversary of freedom, somewhere so out of the ordinary and wonderful. And I managed to save up and make it happen again, this time with the person that I most wanted to share that experience with--The Man who helped me understand that my heart could indeed flex to reach out to someone again.
Surrounded by obnoxious car horns, hundreds of loud people crossing in front of our hotel window, the neon fluorescence chasing away every shadow--I felt so at peace. This year had been hard, so full of doubt and worry and anxiety. I had just finished a very painstaking and exhausting run of RENT; I had been so sick I couldn't breathe or move without wanting to cry over Christmas; I felt like Christmas didn't even have a chance to really happen, I didn't really get to experience it before it was gone; and I was just so tired. So ready for something new and different, so ready for peace and serenity. I went to sleep that night with the beautiful hope in my heart that, starting the next morning, I would be once again free and without shackles. I had the best night of sleep I'd had in a long time.
Up next in the Saga of the Glorious Adventure...
It's time, ladies and gents. Prepare yourselves.
Friday -- December 30th. We have lift off.
The Man and I began our glorious adventure to Universal Studios in Orlando bright and early.
| I'm really attractive and really excited at seven in the morning. |
| The Man was not awake enough to understand that I need an epic picture of him driving. So I just got a sort of slack-jawed fish face. |
| Because if you're going to be driving for around eight hours, you need fuel. Early morning hot chocolate and frappucinos for the win. |
| The sky was just waking up, too. |
We had a pretty nice drive. Mostly me screaming, "WHOOOOOO!!!!!!! HARRY POTTER WORRRRRRLLLLDD!!!" every five minutes and The Man responding with a resigned, "Yes, baby."
So after we played The License Plate Game and paid very seemingly unnecessary tolls to get into the city of Orlando, the excitement and knowledge that we were basking in seventy-degree weather for the end of December finally settled in.
| LOOK AT IT. SUNNY SKIES AND HARRY TELLING ME TO BE EXTRAORDINARY. |
We got to our hotel around four-ish in the afternoon and took some time to chill and shower and semi-nap. Sitting in a car all day, being excited, and going over Potter trivia can be exhausting.
Friday night we decided to hit the town! Orlando was hoppin', people everywhere, neon lights a-blaring, and even boardwalk-esque attractions were on every street corner. We had a full three days of theme park amazingness ahead of us, so we wanted to treat ourselves to a nice dinner in a restaurant where they served fancy delectables like mozzarella sticks and mango margaritas to get us started with a bang.
And guess who we happened to dine with there!? None other than the fabulous Alice, who just so happened to be in town on super-secret-international-spy business. This is the first blogger I have had the pleasure of meeting in person, and she's not even creepy at all! Mainly just fantastic and full of super-secret-international-spy knowledge. Yeah, that's right Greenland, I know all your dirty little secrets now.
| I do enjoy sharing the company of an attractive-even-when-anonymous lady. |
We had a lovely and luxuriously languorous time eating and drinking and laughing. All too soon, The Man and I were feeling completely exhausted after being up for so long from the day of travel, so we bid adieu to the nicest super-secret-international-spy you'll ever know, and headed out to hit the hay.
While driving around the bustling city, I was struck by how strong the presence and meaning of where we were was. Exactly a year ago I had been in that same town, feeling the same exhaustion and excitement, surrounded by friends that I loved, looking forward to the same journey through Universal's theme parks while we rang in the new year.
We were here. We had done it. All year long, I had been musing on how amazing it was to spend new year's, my personal anniversary of freedom, somewhere so out of the ordinary and wonderful. And I managed to save up and make it happen again, this time with the person that I most wanted to share that experience with--The Man who helped me understand that my heart could indeed flex to reach out to someone again.
Surrounded by obnoxious car horns, hundreds of loud people crossing in front of our hotel window, the neon fluorescence chasing away every shadow--I felt so at peace. This year had been hard, so full of doubt and worry and anxiety. I had just finished a very painstaking and exhausting run of RENT; I had been so sick I couldn't breathe or move without wanting to cry over Christmas; I felt like Christmas didn't even have a chance to really happen, I didn't really get to experience it before it was gone; and I was just so tired. So ready for something new and different, so ready for peace and serenity. I went to sleep that night with the beautiful hope in my heart that, starting the next morning, I would be once again free and without shackles. I had the best night of sleep I'd had in a long time.
Up next in the Saga of the Glorious Adventure...
Labels:
Food,
Friends,
Harry Potter,
I Like To Think I Am A Fancy Photographer,
Nostalgia,
Observations,
Winning
| Reactions: |
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Look! I'm Finally GOOD At Something!
I promise, next post will be about Harry Potter World. I cross my heart and hope to die and end up in heaven, which is right back at Universal Studios in Hogsmeade. Word.
I just had to let you guys know.
I had my interview last night for a teaching position at an acting studio downtown. If you follow me on twitter, you've seen this news already, but this job sounded so great, and I really wanted it, and even since Christmas we've been going back and forth having to reschedule the interview because I was sick as death and then the interviewer had something happen and it took like three weeks and a bunch of emails and phone calls to get to meeting last night and so FINALLY we got together aaaaannndddd...
I got the job.
I. Got. THE. JOB!!!!!!!
I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was so amazing, Michael Mario Good, the founder of the Good Acting Studio, told me a few minutes after we sat down that he already made up his mind that he wanted to hire me for their team. He said that the way I handled everything about the rescheduling and being so flexible, in addition to my resume, just made him feel like he wanted to work with me, and then after he met me, he just knew I'd be a great addition to the team. I even stayed to help him teach a class immediately afterwards last night, and he went ahead and gave me a little money to compensate me for staying and doing that.
I'm in awe. I was on the verge of crying thousands of tears of joy all last night.
Things are finally starting to come together. Finally.
It's been such a hard journey this year, with so many almost-successes and so much actual-disappointment and I was questioning my sheer ability to make it in this industry--then new year's rolls around, I feel myself refreshed and rejuvenated, and I take a completely different attitude going into 2012. It's not about the number of callbacks or jobs booked or whatever. It's about being happy. I just want to stay in the game. I just want to keep learning. Keep going after what I love.
And I think it's working.
And Michael, just from our one meeting, is so amazing. He's incredibly kind and genuine, and the guy has done everything under the sun already, gotten his MFA from going to URTA in Chicago (which is what I'm doing in February), performed off- and on Broadway, and now he's got his own studio. And the story of how his studio came to be just broke my heart--he lost his little brother to cancer a couple years ago. Three days before he passed, his little brother told him he had to open his own studio, because he knew how much it would mean to Michael. He said that if Michael did that, he'd be there, whether in person or in spirit. And Michael feels like he is. It's incredible.
I am so excited to be working with this team. Michael even signed me on to continue teaching the Friday night class with him because last night was such a success. Talking to the parents who came to get their kids was also wonderful--you can really tell the worth of a place when a mom can't stop talking about how much of a God-send it's been.
Walking out after the class, Michael told me I ended up being such a blessing. I believe it's true the other way around. This feels like the right fit, the perfect engagement. I'm just so happy. I feel like I've finally gotten somewhere. I'm finally working and getting compensated for doing what I love.
I'll let you guys know more as we get things worked out, but around mid-February is when I'll start taking on more classes on my own. If you're in the mood for some awesome fun and you're in the Atlanta area, you should definitely come check this place out. And I mean, which of you wouldn't want to take an acting class from me? Seriously, peeps. Let's be for real. :-D
Go check out their website and see how great this place is. I'm just so excited to officially be a Good actor, and a Good teacher. :-D (I love the word play.)
I just had to let you guys know.
I had my interview last night for a teaching position at an acting studio downtown. If you follow me on twitter, you've seen this news already, but this job sounded so great, and I really wanted it, and even since Christmas we've been going back and forth having to reschedule the interview because I was sick as death and then the interviewer had something happen and it took like three weeks and a bunch of emails and phone calls to get to meeting last night and so FINALLY we got together aaaaannndddd...
I got the job.
I. Got. THE. JOB!!!!!!!
I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was so amazing, Michael Mario Good, the founder of the Good Acting Studio, told me a few minutes after we sat down that he already made up his mind that he wanted to hire me for their team. He said that the way I handled everything about the rescheduling and being so flexible, in addition to my resume, just made him feel like he wanted to work with me, and then after he met me, he just knew I'd be a great addition to the team. I even stayed to help him teach a class immediately afterwards last night, and he went ahead and gave me a little money to compensate me for staying and doing that.
I'm in awe. I was on the verge of crying thousands of tears of joy all last night.
Things are finally starting to come together. Finally.
It's been such a hard journey this year, with so many almost-successes and so much actual-disappointment and I was questioning my sheer ability to make it in this industry--then new year's rolls around, I feel myself refreshed and rejuvenated, and I take a completely different attitude going into 2012. It's not about the number of callbacks or jobs booked or whatever. It's about being happy. I just want to stay in the game. I just want to keep learning. Keep going after what I love.
And I think it's working.
And Michael, just from our one meeting, is so amazing. He's incredibly kind and genuine, and the guy has done everything under the sun already, gotten his MFA from going to URTA in Chicago (which is what I'm doing in February), performed off- and on Broadway, and now he's got his own studio. And the story of how his studio came to be just broke my heart--he lost his little brother to cancer a couple years ago. Three days before he passed, his little brother told him he had to open his own studio, because he knew how much it would mean to Michael. He said that if Michael did that, he'd be there, whether in person or in spirit. And Michael feels like he is. It's incredible.
I am so excited to be working with this team. Michael even signed me on to continue teaching the Friday night class with him because last night was such a success. Talking to the parents who came to get their kids was also wonderful--you can really tell the worth of a place when a mom can't stop talking about how much of a God-send it's been.
Walking out after the class, Michael told me I ended up being such a blessing. I believe it's true the other way around. This feels like the right fit, the perfect engagement. I'm just so happy. I feel like I've finally gotten somewhere. I'm finally working and getting compensated for doing what I love.
I'll let you guys know more as we get things worked out, but around mid-February is when I'll start taking on more classes on my own. If you're in the mood for some awesome fun and you're in the Atlanta area, you should definitely come check this place out. And I mean, which of you wouldn't want to take an acting class from me? Seriously, peeps. Let's be for real. :-D
Go check out their website and see how great this place is. I'm just so excited to officially be a Good actor, and a Good teacher. :-D (I love the word play.)
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Wednesday, January 11, 2012
When Things Attack
I know, I know, I get your appetites all whetted with spoilers for my Glorious Adventure and then I take a week to follow up. I'm sorry. I promise more installments of the Glorious Adventure to Universal Studios will be making appearances this week. Things just did that thing where all things become Things Seeking Attention Now And Not Later all at once, and then I was surrounded by and drowned in Things.
I've been slow to write this week because a) I've been busy with all of the Things I mentioned, and b) my mind has felt a little unhinged, and I wanted to take some time to examine what was going on in my self. It got so bad yesterday that I had a full-on panic attack in my office at work. Not the most pleasant of places to be when all you want to do is run around screaming bloody murder and tearing wood boards from walls and smashing car windshields and finally exploding into a combustion of angry flames.
If there IS such a place where doing these things would be pleasant and even welcome, you guys should probably get me that number and address.
It was one of those instances where a tiny little catalyst that shouldn't have mattered set things into motion and it snowballed into something wholly unmanageable and terrible. I've been feeling the tendrils of that monster Anxiety licking at my fingertips and toes recently, but I focused on keeping it at bay, retaining my focus and my drive. But such a monster is not only patient, he is also vicious and cunning, and will subtly sneak up on you until you don't realize how close he is until he's inside your rib cage, settling in nicely between your heart and lungs, the space that used to house Hope and Peace of Mind.
I broke down so wholly that I felt like I was drunk--my mind had disconnected from the stable plane of thought, and it was as if my head was spinning, my ears had a rushing in them, and I imagined I was spiraling, the liquids and matter in my brain wildly circumscribing the inside of my skull, I was so dizzy. I would look down at my body and know that it was mine, but not know that I was connected to it. I would watch my hands move, palms turned up, fingers flexing, and I wouldn't know how they got that way, even though I felt intuitively that I must have been controlling them. It was very wild and scary and I was completely useless to try and complete any actual work, because sitting and staring at the computer screen made me feel as if I would turn to stone. I felt so disconnected from my body that I literally felt that if I sat still long enough, I would just fade and disconnect, and my body would stay in that position forever, frozen.
I do not suffer panic/anxiety attacks often. Ever, really. This felt very new to me and yet horribly familiar at the same time--it's been years since I called the darkness in the space where my Hope and Peace should have been 'Friend.' I didn't like it. I pray it does not happen again.
When The Man was listening to me crying over the phone, he asked what was wrong, and all I could say was, "Everything is wrong, I'm doing all of it wrong, I'm trying so hard to get it right and it just keeps being wrong, all of it." That's the only coherent thing I could take away from yesterday--the thought that everything I'm pursuing in my life right now is, in a word, wrong. The drunken separation from myself made it that much worse, that all of a sudden I was terrified of and hated the thought of my applications being sent off to grad schools and all of the things I was currently dealing with were failures and I just couldn't handle the humiliation, the disappointment, that everyone I knew would know that I had been so incorrect. It made no sense.
An amazing friend that I talked to about this with yesterday, who has experience with this herself, told me that usually when that kind of anxiety sets in, it means it's time for something to change. Something in your routine, your lifestyle, whatever--it's time for something to change for the better. I don't know what that is for me just yet. But I'm keeping my eyes open.
Today I feel better. More put together, less dissected and apart from myself. I have that feeling of being sore after an injury, where your muscles are aware of having been harmed and they've started the process of knitting themselves back together and it aches. I'm taking my time on things and allowing myself to have breaks where I focus on breathing and knowing where/who I am.
Admittedly, I have been siphoning an awful lot of Stress and Overwhelm and I Hate Everything away over the past couple of months. It was bound to clog the pipes and come back up at some point. If you've ever suffered from anxiety, you know how crippling it can be. It's so crafty, it sneaks up on you, and stabs you from behind after it corners you. If you struggle with anything like this now, I offer my empathy and my ears if you need to voice it to a friend. I'm going to just take it easy today and look forward to moments of Peace and Joyful Relaxation that I hope are soon to come.

Take care today, friends.
Tell someone you love them. And mean it.
I've been slow to write this week because a) I've been busy with all of the Things I mentioned, and b) my mind has felt a little unhinged, and I wanted to take some time to examine what was going on in my self. It got so bad yesterday that I had a full-on panic attack in my office at work. Not the most pleasant of places to be when all you want to do is run around screaming bloody murder and tearing wood boards from walls and smashing car windshields and finally exploding into a combustion of angry flames.
If there IS such a place where doing these things would be pleasant and even welcome, you guys should probably get me that number and address.
It was one of those instances where a tiny little catalyst that shouldn't have mattered set things into motion and it snowballed into something wholly unmanageable and terrible. I've been feeling the tendrils of that monster Anxiety licking at my fingertips and toes recently, but I focused on keeping it at bay, retaining my focus and my drive. But such a monster is not only patient, he is also vicious and cunning, and will subtly sneak up on you until you don't realize how close he is until he's inside your rib cage, settling in nicely between your heart and lungs, the space that used to house Hope and Peace of Mind.
I broke down so wholly that I felt like I was drunk--my mind had disconnected from the stable plane of thought, and it was as if my head was spinning, my ears had a rushing in them, and I imagined I was spiraling, the liquids and matter in my brain wildly circumscribing the inside of my skull, I was so dizzy. I would look down at my body and know that it was mine, but not know that I was connected to it. I would watch my hands move, palms turned up, fingers flexing, and I wouldn't know how they got that way, even though I felt intuitively that I must have been controlling them. It was very wild and scary and I was completely useless to try and complete any actual work, because sitting and staring at the computer screen made me feel as if I would turn to stone. I felt so disconnected from my body that I literally felt that if I sat still long enough, I would just fade and disconnect, and my body would stay in that position forever, frozen.
I do not suffer panic/anxiety attacks often. Ever, really. This felt very new to me and yet horribly familiar at the same time--it's been years since I called the darkness in the space where my Hope and Peace should have been 'Friend.' I didn't like it. I pray it does not happen again.
When The Man was listening to me crying over the phone, he asked what was wrong, and all I could say was, "Everything is wrong, I'm doing all of it wrong, I'm trying so hard to get it right and it just keeps being wrong, all of it." That's the only coherent thing I could take away from yesterday--the thought that everything I'm pursuing in my life right now is, in a word, wrong. The drunken separation from myself made it that much worse, that all of a sudden I was terrified of and hated the thought of my applications being sent off to grad schools and all of the things I was currently dealing with were failures and I just couldn't handle the humiliation, the disappointment, that everyone I knew would know that I had been so incorrect. It made no sense.An amazing friend that I talked to about this with yesterday, who has experience with this herself, told me that usually when that kind of anxiety sets in, it means it's time for something to change. Something in your routine, your lifestyle, whatever--it's time for something to change for the better. I don't know what that is for me just yet. But I'm keeping my eyes open.
Today I feel better. More put together, less dissected and apart from myself. I have that feeling of being sore after an injury, where your muscles are aware of having been harmed and they've started the process of knitting themselves back together and it aches. I'm taking my time on things and allowing myself to have breaks where I focus on breathing and knowing where/who I am.
Admittedly, I have been siphoning an awful lot of Stress and Overwhelm and I Hate Everything away over the past couple of months. It was bound to clog the pipes and come back up at some point. If you've ever suffered from anxiety, you know how crippling it can be. It's so crafty, it sneaks up on you, and stabs you from behind after it corners you. If you struggle with anything like this now, I offer my empathy and my ears if you need to voice it to a friend. I'm going to just take it easy today and look forward to moments of Peace and Joyful Relaxation that I hope are soon to come.

Take care today, friends.
Tell someone you love them. And mean it.
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Glorious Adventure: Part The First
Before I get into all of the awesome-pretty-pictures part of my Epic New Year's Adventure, I wanted to share with you the game The Man and I played while in the car--it's called The See How Many License Plates Are From Other States And Write It Down Game.
Here's the deal: Orlando, Florida, is one of the most visited cities like, ever. EVERYONE goes to Disney World or Universal or MGM for vacations, and especially in the cold winter months, those from the northern and midwestern parts of the country travel to warmer climates and beaches to get away from the heart-stopping chills of their hometowns. Last year, we saw so many super-far-away license plates that I decided this year I wanted to document the ones we saw. Because people seriously do come from all over to go to Florida. Last year, we even saw one Alaska plate. That's serious commitment to warmer weather, my friends.
I had several goals for this year's License Plate Extravaganza: I wanted to see more provinces from Canada than just Ontario (Canadians travel to Orlando A LOT), and I wanted to see more than 30 of the contiguous United States represented. And I'll be damned if we didn't hit both of these goals, plus a BONUS! I'll split it up into three categories for you: US, Canada, and Other. (Yes, there is an Other.)
The following lists are plates we saw on the way to Orlando, while driving in Orlando, and on the way back (incidentally, only the very last US plate was a new find on the way back. All others were seen pre-Orlando and in the city itself).
In the order in which we saw the plates (and not counting the car we were in)...
U.S.!
1. Michigan
2. Florida
3. Virgina
4. Georgia
5. Delaware
6. Oklahoma
7. Massachusetts
8. Tennessee
9. Maine
10. Illinois
11. Missouri
12. Indiana
13. Wisconsin
14. Minnesota
15. Kansas
16. Kentucky
17. North Carolina
18. Iowa
19. Nebraska
20. Ohio
21. Colorado
22. Oregon (Dedication Award!)
23. Pennsylvania
24. Texas
25. New Jersey
26. South Carolina
27. Louisiana
28. Arkansas
29. South Dakota
30. New York
31. Maryland
32. Mississippi
33. New Hampshire
34. California
35. Rhode Island
Canada!
1. Ontario
2. Manitoba (That's one I hadn't seen before.)
The next category is Other, and it needs a little explanation. This car was in the next lane to right of us, and we were going faster than they were, so I had to look really quickly to catch the name of the plate as we drove by them. I only got one glimpse as we passed, and I was sure I had read it wrong or something, because I saw two very scripty-looking words that I couldn't really tell if they were in English or not, but the top long word started with an "N" and the bottom shorter word started with an "L" and I looked at The Man and said, "I feel like that might have said Netherlands! But it didn't look like Dutch... And why in the hell would someone from the Netherlands get over here to drive to Florida in their own car??? Ferrying your car across an ocean has to be expensive!"
You can see why I was confused.
Upon some further inspection, and by "inspection" I mean Googling, I have come up with the answer to this quandary! It was NOT, in fact, a Netherlands tag that I saw, but a Newfoundland and Labrador tag--which is Canadian! Newfoundland and Labrador are an island-and-mainland combo province in the upper most eastern corner of North America--they are basically next Greenland which is basically next to the North Pole which is basically the end of the earth. No wonder they wanted to get away and head to Florida for the winter. Those people drove several thousand miles to get to Disney or wherever it was they ended up. So here we are, with the winners of the Super Dedicated Florida Vacationers Award:
Other, Also Known As Canada!
1. Newfoundland and Labrador
I am truly amazed. We hit all of our goals! Thirty-five American states and three Canadian provinces. Orlando is the place to be, my friends.
Stay tuned for the next installment of Emma Harr and the Glorious Adventure!
Labels:
Multi-Part Series,
Travel,
Winning
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Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Teaser Trailer
In a world where nothing is what it seems, the lines are just a little too long, and the food is always over-priced...
...one girl will make this new year's eve an experience to remember...
Emma Harr and the Glorious Adventure
Coming Soon to a Blogger Feed Near You
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Thursday, December 29, 2011
What Matters Is The Epilogue
Today's post comes to you in three parts.
Are you prepared?
ONE) This is our bad-ass Christmas tree on Christmas morning, complete with presents. I am surprised I was able to take a good enough picture, since this was the morning of my most zombified-ness. I am still currently a DayQuil-chugging/cough drop-hocking zombie, if you were wondering.
TWO) I got my huurrsss cut. You like?
For most of my life, I have been growing my hair out long, and then chopping it all off in one fell swoop so that I could donate it to Locks of Love, an organization that takes hair donations to make wigs for cancer patients. This is my fourth time donating about a foot of hair. I'm a hair factory! Hooray!
THREE) I leave for Orlando TOMORROW. As in, THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER AND IT'S ALMOST HERE AND NOW I'M JUST CRAZY EXCITED AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! The Man is here with me, currently sitting beside me, doing stuff on his laptop while I compose this on mine. (We are the modern American twenty-something couple, after all.)
But the time has come, folks. Tomorrow, we will arrive in our fancy hotel in fancy Orlando after a fancy 8-ish-hour drive and it will be glorious. The glory will only continue to become more glorious as we get up hella-early Saturday morning to get into Harry Potter World early and have a free breakfast at The Three Broomsticks Tavern, before we spend approximately seventeen-plus hours riding roller coasters and being awesome before midnight, at which time we will be standing in Hogsmeade square, butterbeers raised, toasting the new year.
I'm so ready.
And don't worry, all you gluttons out there, I'll post pictures.
EPILOGUE) This is actually a very serious piece of news. Late last night, I found out that a very good friend of mine from college lost both of her parents and her two younger sisters yesterday morning in a house fire. What is believed to have been an electrical fire started in the middle of the night and spread throughout the whole house. Firefighters arrived just before 5 AM to discover the entire roof caved in and the whole inside of the house blackened and gutted. All four of her family members were found dead. There were no smoke detectors in the house.
I have been in a state of grief ever since finding this out. I cannot even fathom the amount of sorrow and anguish she and her surviving siblings are facing right now. To lose both parents and two sisters in one night... and to something that is so out of the ordinary and random and terrifying. I've been bursting into tears throughout the day today, just because I love this friend so much and it's just such a horrible thing to have happen. This is something that won't just get better and go away--it's four lives lost, and her life is forever changed because of it. Several other of the dance alum from school and I have gotten together to send flowers and to donate to the memorial fund that has been set up for my friend and her siblings. If any of you are at all interested in contributing something to this fund, just let me know, and I'll get you the information.
And the big "what-if"... The fact that they didn't have smoke detectors in the house just makes me sick. If they had had them, would things have been different? I want to encourage each and every one of you to check right now that you have a smoke detector in your place of residence, and that it has fresh batteries in it. Keeping these up to date is a habit you need to get into--it can save your life.
My friend is an incredible, beautiful soul. She has always been so genuine and loving, and it just kills my heart to know that she is dealing with so much pain right now. If any of you pray, please take a moment to send up one or two for her and her family. If you prefer to send out positive thoughts, those are more than welcome, too.
I love this community dearly, and I am so very lucky to count those of you I have gotten to know as friends. Please stay safe this weekend while you celebrate the new year, and do take a moment to check your smoke detectors. This kind of tragedy should never have to happen to anyone. I love you all.
Are you prepared?
ONE) This is our bad-ass Christmas tree on Christmas morning, complete with presents. I am surprised I was able to take a good enough picture, since this was the morning of my most zombified-ness. I am still currently a DayQuil-chugging/cough drop-hocking zombie, if you were wondering.
TWO) I got my huurrsss cut. You like?
For most of my life, I have been growing my hair out long, and then chopping it all off in one fell swoop so that I could donate it to Locks of Love, an organization that takes hair donations to make wigs for cancer patients. This is my fourth time donating about a foot of hair. I'm a hair factory! Hooray!
THREE) I leave for Orlando TOMORROW. As in, THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER AND IT'S ALMOST HERE AND NOW I'M JUST CRAZY EXCITED AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! The Man is here with me, currently sitting beside me, doing stuff on his laptop while I compose this on mine. (We are the modern American twenty-something couple, after all.)
But the time has come, folks. Tomorrow, we will arrive in our fancy hotel in fancy Orlando after a fancy 8-ish-hour drive and it will be glorious. The glory will only continue to become more glorious as we get up hella-early Saturday morning to get into Harry Potter World early and have a free breakfast at The Three Broomsticks Tavern, before we spend approximately seventeen-plus hours riding roller coasters and being awesome before midnight, at which time we will be standing in Hogsmeade square, butterbeers raised, toasting the new year.
I'm so ready.
And don't worry, all you gluttons out there, I'll post pictures.
EPILOGUE) This is actually a very serious piece of news. Late last night, I found out that a very good friend of mine from college lost both of her parents and her two younger sisters yesterday morning in a house fire. What is believed to have been an electrical fire started in the middle of the night and spread throughout the whole house. Firefighters arrived just before 5 AM to discover the entire roof caved in and the whole inside of the house blackened and gutted. All four of her family members were found dead. There were no smoke detectors in the house.
I have been in a state of grief ever since finding this out. I cannot even fathom the amount of sorrow and anguish she and her surviving siblings are facing right now. To lose both parents and two sisters in one night... and to something that is so out of the ordinary and random and terrifying. I've been bursting into tears throughout the day today, just because I love this friend so much and it's just such a horrible thing to have happen. This is something that won't just get better and go away--it's four lives lost, and her life is forever changed because of it. Several other of the dance alum from school and I have gotten together to send flowers and to donate to the memorial fund that has been set up for my friend and her siblings. If any of you are at all interested in contributing something to this fund, just let me know, and I'll get you the information.
And the big "what-if"... The fact that they didn't have smoke detectors in the house just makes me sick. If they had had them, would things have been different? I want to encourage each and every one of you to check right now that you have a smoke detector in your place of residence, and that it has fresh batteries in it. Keeping these up to date is a habit you need to get into--it can save your life.
My friend is an incredible, beautiful soul. She has always been so genuine and loving, and it just kills my heart to know that she is dealing with so much pain right now. If any of you pray, please take a moment to send up one or two for her and her family. If you prefer to send out positive thoughts, those are more than welcome, too.
I love this community dearly, and I am so very lucky to count those of you I have gotten to know as friends. Please stay safe this weekend while you celebrate the new year, and do take a moment to check your smoke detectors. This kind of tragedy should never have to happen to anyone. I love you all.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Theft Isn't Wrong If You Get Permission First
Totally stealing this from the lovely Miss Alice, because I always enjoyed doing this types of questionnaires in middle school, where the questions were like, "What's your favorite type of ice cream?" and depending on what you answered, it predicted your future husband. You know you did those, too, don't even play.
2011 in 30
Told a boy I had feelings for him without knowing whether he had them for me. Got a talent agent. Was an extra in a movie, and got paid for it. Applied to grad school. Flew on an airplane up the coast by myself.
2) Did you keep your New Year Resolutions?
I'm pretty sure my new year's resolution last year was... just not to quit. I had graduated college and was tackling professional theatre with all the gusto I had. And I just kept telling myself not to quit. Instead, to learn. To get better. I think I've done a pretty good job of that, even if it has been really hard at moments where I wanted to do was say "sionara" forever.
3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Some people I knew from high school but who I don't talk to anymore did. So, no.
4) Did anyone close to you die?
No. Thankfully.
5)What countries did you visit?
Uh... this one.
6) What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A paying job in theatre that lasts longer than a day. More confidence in myself. More drive and peace to take that confidence and really make something of it. A place of my own.
7)What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Well, last year's new year's celebrations were pretty spectacular. Midnight butterbeers in Hogsmeade; spending new year's day at Universal, riding roller coasters with some of my best friends. And April 30th. April 30th was a pretty big deal. (I'll give you a hint: that day involves The Man.)
8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to trust the process of new love. Learning to take the doubt I had in myself and turn it into something useful.
9) What was your biggest failure?
Huh. Not spending enough time with my friends, telling them how much they mean to me. Not doing the same for my family.
10) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Pfffft. Are you kidding? Aside from the stupid stuff like the cold I am currently suffering from, I have two cysts and carpel tunnel in my right wrist (still don't have the funds for surgery yet); I've dealt with an awful lot of pain from my problematic reproductive system, including a scare involving cervical cancer; my vocal chords are shot to hell and the doctor I saw about them didn't help one bit, other than charge me lots of random body parts for his stupidity; probably more stuff, but I'm in a DayQuil-coma, so I can't think anymore.
11)What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to take me and The Man to Universal Studios for new year's. Tickets to see Idina Menzel in concert this summer. A portrait of my mom, drawn by one of my really good friends, that I gave to her for Christmas. Lancelot, my Lenovo laptop.
12)Where did most of your money go?
The Abyss that all actors' money goes to. Mostly gas, travel expenses, eating out.
13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing Idina Menzel in concert. Returning to Harry Potter World for another amazing new year's eve. The prospect that I might just have the stuff to make it in an MFA program.
14)What song will always remind you of 2011?
"Little Lion Man" and "White Blank Page" -- both by Mumford & Sons
15) Compared to this time last year, are you?
Happier or sadder -
I'd say... happier? I was happy a year ago. I think now it just comes with more
understanding as to why.
Older or wiser -
Both. Definitely both. But mostly the second one.
Thinner or fatter -
Actually, I have gained weight. Thanks, awkward hormone therapy.
Richer or poorer -
Marginally in possession of more money.
16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had been cast more. But that's not something I have control over. Saving money. Loving on other people. Dancing.
17) What do you wish you had done less of?
Worrying. Doubting myself.
18) How did you spend Christmas?
At home, with my family, in my pjs and a DayQuil-induced coma. With lots of hot chocolate.
19) Did you fall in love in 2011?
Still in the process.
20) What was your favorite TV program?
Castle. Parenthood. Watching all of Avatar: The Last Airbender with The Man.
21)Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. And I do my best not to hate people, anyway. Even if I don't like them, I try to have love for them, because people are people.
22)What was the best book you read?
Ooh. That's tough. I loved The Hunger Games. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. And there are about fifteen plays I could rattle off as life-changing...
23) What was your greatest musical discovery?
This.
24) What did you want and get?
For Christmas, two tickets to see Bernadette Peters perform in February. Also, an opportunity to fall in love with my best friend again. And to learn.
25)What did you want and not get?
A job in theatre.
26) What as your favorite film of the year?
Hmm. I do not rightly know. I don't often get to go to the movies, so my favorite would probably have to be something older that i saw for the first time. Also, the experience (not so much the film itself) of going to the midnight premier of the final HP movie. That was fun.
27) What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?
I turned 23. And I was in Boston staying with family, it was the day before a big audition, and my cousin's husband surprised me by taking me to see Mary Poppins at the Boston Opera House. It was magical.
28) What kept you sane?
The Man. Prayer. Letting myself cry when I needed to. Getting away and being by myself outside. Talking about things with my amazing support group of friends. My music.
29) Tell a life lesson you learned.
It's okay not to always meet your own expectations. Things will never turn out exactly the way you imagine. And it's okay to accept that they don't, and just enjoy how far you've come anyway. And it's so valuable to trust, and to learn to put your own selfishness aside in favor of honoring someone else.
30) What song lyric sums up your year?
Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I'm clean, I'm clean
But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections
So tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart?
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
("White Blank Page" -- Mumford & Sons)
'Cause I need freedom now and I need to know how to live my lief as it's meant to be.
("The Cave" -- Mumford & Sons)
Labels:
Being A Real Actor,
Body Failure,
Boyfriends,
Creativity,
Family,
Friends,
Graduate School,
Harry Potter,
Heartache,
Human,
Idina,
Nostalgia,
Post-Grad Life,
Words of Wisdom
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